Practically Speaking

I have heard that even when parents opt out of sex ed (or, let's say, in your example, they do not opt in) the schools have introduced the subject matter, often hidden in "age appropriate" reading.  I know of one family who contacted others after learning that read aloud story time included scenes in which a boy and girl discussed bras, and boys drew pictures of naked girls when bored in school.  The prevailing attitude was: what's done is done.

What a really fantastic idea!  That way, families which choose to participate may do so.  I hope that you will bring this idea to the attention of our Board of Education.

Kyle, thanks for an excellent blog on this issue.  I agree with everything you wrote, and I'd bet that most parents also agree but will not take the necessary action to send the message to the board.  It's hard to believe that the national leadership of so many organizations such as the librarians, educators, etc. that influence the development of adolescents has fallen into the hands of people who have a different agenda than most of us.  One only has to look at how our society has changed in the last 50 years to see that we are on a path of self-destruction.  Like the ancient Greeks, Romans, Spanish, French, English, etc. we are on the decline and don't want to admit it or make the changes necessary to prevent it.  May God have mercy on our children and grandchildren!

Kyle - I would certainly prefer an approach where families opted in to the HG&D program each year.  It seems most people take the "default" approach, whatever it may be... It is the path of least resistance.  

Quotable - Yes, I'm sorry to say that even in 5th grade some parents felt the topics of bras and drawing naked pictures of girls were passe for their kids.  I believe those adults are missing the sense of CONTEXT.  For example, it is fine for a male to wear trunks only at Wirth Pool.  In contrast, we have restaurants and stores with signs posted in their doors and windows, "no shoes, no shirt, no service" simply because in those contexts, trunks only is not acceptable. (Unfotunately it also means there are some among us who don't get the distinction of acceptable and unacceptable context, and have to be told.)  

Since my daughter has heard some things from an Oprah advertisement on TV during an otherwise family-friendly program, and has asked questions, she is aware of the OS topic.  Although I may have wished the subject would've come up later, that was the teaching moment.  At home, with moral guidance, was the correct CONTEXT for this teaching. Because my daughter's teaching moment came at that time, does not mean I believe the school district needs to teach all her classmates at that time.  For a great many, their teaching moment has not yet come.

In addressing the idea of what is appropriate for presentation to our children in school without prior parental notification, I have suggested the board, the teachers, and administration determine whether the same stuff printed on T-shirts would pass the school dress code.  If the the school would not want those passages being read on T-shirts in school, perhaps parents need prior notification to that material.

There are other families who notice sexual matters creeping into classes outside of HG&D, and also care about maintaining their children's innocence while receiving an excellent Elmbrook education. Another parent has told a friend-of-a-friend that their family has worked to remove a video their daughter found objectionable when presented in 7th grade Advanced Placement Language Arts.

I'm sure together we'll find a balanced approach.

When our kids were young  enough to understand what we were talking about we had to tell them about the risk of strangers. We had to tell them don't talk to them, and we had to tell them why. It changed their innocent world, but it is part of the world.

When our kids could understand we had to tell them about child abuse. Since child abuse is most prevalent from relatives and friends it was very awkward to discuss this with them and they were very young to have to hear these things, it again changed their innocent world.

Drugs, alcohol and sexual topics create the same problem. It changes the world for both parents and children, but it really is best to do the teaching as soon as they can understand because the issue might arise in their lives.It will change their innocent world.

Not all parents, and when I grew up  hardly any parents discussed much of this with their kids. Other than being told "you better not do it" parents didn't go into much detail. This is probably why the job started to fall on the schools, parents alone were not getting the job done (Too many kids had the wrong information).

This abstinence approach clearly did not work then so why will it work now. Did it work with you or your readers (when we were the kid). I would suspect for some yes, but for a majority no (Just look at the statistics). The same probably holds true for today’s methods. For some it works, others will ignore anything they are told. But something other than "what we grew up with" has to be tried.

Information is always good and helps people make choices even though the information may make your home life a little more uncomfortable. Kids are constantly exposed to points of view that differ from the parents. If you have a lot of respect from your kids and taught them well, most of the time, in the long run, your kids will adopt your point of view and try to do things that you will be proud of. You don't have to fear that a teacher at school will turn them into something horrible with something they taught them in a classroom. Maybe what you should fear is what their friends teach them because in the short run they have far more influence over them than teachers & parents.

Regarding the opting out issue. Do you support requiring kids to say the Pledge of Allegiance at school every day ? Are you a person who would tell a child who didn't want to say the pledge that they should opt out if they didn't want to say it ?  Are you a person who would say opting out of the allegiance isn't hard on the child who wants to opt out ?

Or would you say people should have to opt in to go somewhere in the school every day to say the Pledge. Or would you support  just keeping the pledge out of the school altogether so nobody had to get uncomfortable about the issue. ? How consistent are you regarding this opting out matter ?

Oh, brother!

Ms. Kilkenny reports that the school bored (yep, I meant that!) will be conducting a voters meeting September 25th at 6:30pm to discuss making Jeff Speaker's dreams come true. As I mentioned in response on her blog, this would be a great time to seek voter signatures on a demand to alter the school board's OPT OUT policy on sex ed. to OPT IN!

What we need here is some 'leadership in opposition' to organize a focus on the issue as well as the actual collection of signatures at the meeting.

Santa's Elf - You are elected to the post you propose.  To increase the likelihood of approaching people who may be interested to support OPT IN, please seek out those with less cleavage showing. (Vis a vis Cindy's blog on Elmbrook parenting.)

Hmm,it's been pointed out to me the district HG&D policy references Wisconsin Statute 115.35, something about a health problems education program. Possibly this indicates the outcome for OS education is: "don't do it"?

Today I received a copy of an opt out letter from one Elmbrook parent. Good for you! I hope many of you

Hard to believe there could be an issue I am as equally passionate about as preventing wasting taxpayers'